Tara Reid as a satanic priestess, ya’ll.
I am not making this up.
The Crow:Wicked Prayer has Tara Reid as a satanic priestess, and Eddie Furlong (Terminator 2 was a LONG time ago) as an ex-con named after a beer, and David Boreanaz (really Agent Booth, come on now, was it necessary to take this role?) as Death because who knows why, and Danny Trejo which should automatically make this film awesome but doesn’t.
You heard that right. Danny Trejo can not help this film.
Expository text all over the screen in the first few minutes can’t help it either. Nice try movie, but no. Just no.
The plot to the The Crow(4)-Wicked Prayer basically breaks down like this: Lily and Jimmy are in love. Lily is a shaman of her Native American tribe, Jimmy is a loser who lives in a trailer full of feathers and scorpions and talks too much to his dog. Not surprisingly they both end up dead (this is a Crow film, after all). Luc and Lola are Satanists on a mission to bring about hell on earth (or something). They steal Lily’s eyes and Jimmy’s heart and then take themselves on a murder spree full of leather pants and silly masks and lots of moments where they look a little bit unsure of their nefarious plans. Within an hour or so of being offed, Jimmy is up-and-at-em again, donning his own goth outfit to fit in with the cool kids and going on a murder spree of his own.
It’s pretty much the same plot as all the other Crow movies, though with its desert setting and magical/mystical undercurrent, it does feel different than the other movies in the series. There is sunshine – SUNSHINE – of all things, and a lot more backstory and plot development – or at least a lot more attempts at them. There is actually quite a bit less graphic violence and gore and boobs (Crow:Salvation has a lot of boobs for boobs’ sake) so I’m thinking this was a direct-to-TV flick. Not that I NEEDED to see Tara Reid cut out some chick’s eyes, but considering how bloody Crow:Salvation got, I was expecting a higher body count and a bit more blood.
I was kind of expecting a better story as well, though I don’t know why when the quality of films in this franchise has been going down since the second one (though City of Angels would be my fave of the later movies). Part of what makes the very first Crow film and story so good is the lack of excess nonsense. It’s a story about a dead guy who comes back with the help of a magic bird to wreak vengeance on those that have done him wrong. A dark fairytale and ghost story wrapped into one, by explaining things too much it loses some of (or in the case of Crow:Wicked Prayer most of) its magic. Jimmy doesn’t come back just because he lost the love of his life. He comes back because a butthole in tight pants with a chip on his shoulder literally stole his heart. He comes back because dark magic is afoot and mystical business is taking place and he didn’t have much else to do on a Friday night. I’m not saying being strung up and watching your girl killed and then being killed yourself doesn’t give you a reason to go on a vengeance kick. I’m just saying there is too much going on around it to make it seem as intense as it could have been.
And speaking of ruining the intensity of the story, now some quick thoughts on the wardrobe. David Boreanaz is not a bad lookin’ fella, but fish net shirts are flattering to no one. And Edward Furlong all tricked out as The Crow, with his long hair and delicate features and black choker, just looks like a goth chick who got lost on her way to the Hot Topic.
We’ll end with which Crow film wore the soundtrack better! This installment in The Crow franchise doesn’t seem to rely much on an actual soundtrack. The score is pretty dang good though. Lots of Latin influence, and a similar ‘love theme’ to that found in the first and third film. I dug it. At least until the end credits. The song that plays during those is just awful. I wish I could wash the memory of that right out of my ears. Almost as bad as that from Rambo:First Blood but not quite (few end themes can rival that for worst song ever to finish a movie on).
The Crow:Wicked Prayer, 2005
Starring Edward Furlong, David Boreanaz, Tara Reid
Directed by Lance Muniga
Written by James O’Barr (original comic series), Norman Partridge (novel), Lance Muniga (screenplay)
