SPOKANE, Wash. – The holiday season can be especially challenging for those mourning the loss of a loved one. A MultiCare chaplain shares advice on navigating grief during this time.
Bill Strunk, a chaplain at MultiCare, emphasizes that experiencing a range of emotions is normal, especially when faced with an empty seat at the holiday table.
“I’m hopeful that people can know that they are not alone with the emotions that they are feeling. You are not the only one that’s experiencing that so I hope that can be encouragement along the way,” he said.
Strunk acknowledges that everyone handles grief differently. He suggests various ways to manage emotions, such as going to the gym, attending church, or simply allowing oneself to cry. Writing a note to the person who is missed and reading it aloud might also be helpful.
Being honest about feelings is crucial, according to Strunk. He encourages talking with loved ones and sharing experiences to lean on them for strength. For those supporting someone grieving, he advises reading the room and focusing on providing the needed support.
“Make sure they know that they are not alone,” Strunk added.
The chaplain also introduced the “Four Tasks of Grief” framework. The first task is accepting the reality of the loss, which can be difficult and time-consuming. The second task involves feeling the emotions and being vulnerable, which can show strength and humanity.
Once ready, the third task is to establish new rhythms and routines that do not include the lost loved one. Strunk suggests still having Thanksgiving dinner, even if it’s not at Grandma’s house. The fourth task involves incorporating the lost loved one into these new routines by talking about good times and continuing traditions, like making Grandma’s potatoes.
Strunk highlights the emotional weight of the holidays.
“It’s an anniversary, it’s a time where you would have been spending time with this loved one… and so I think there’s a new reality that sets in with this loss whenever it had happened… you’re confronted with that reality again around the holidays.”
Strunk encourages being there for loved ones during the holiday season, reading the room, and offering help as needed.
For more information on grief support, the chaplain recommends grief.com or griefshare.org (faith based).
