I read on Facebook that a local friend’s family had recently adopted a dog that was rescued in another country—Mexico. I was very curious about the dog’s story before she was saved from life on the streets. It’s not a happy tale, up to the rescue, but it’s information that’s good to know.
“She is a very timid and fearful dog at this point. She was found carrying a litter of pups wandering the streets in Tijuana. She was abandoned by her owners. She seems very fearful of men in particular. She had her pups about five months ago and the three that survived have been adopted. We’re just letting her get acquainted right now. She is adorable but doesn’t follow basic commands yet.”
I asked if they’d considered trying Spanish words to see if she understood.
He responded, “I was actually going to experiment with the Spanish idea . . . lol.”
I then asked a question that all families with rescued dogs must answer:
“Is she housebroken?”
He answered, “She seems to be housebroken. My daughter fostered her before we picked her up. We’ve had her home for two days and no accidents. We taught her how to use the doggie door.”
I was impressed with his next statement: “I don’t want to throw too much at her until she gets more comfortable with us (well . . . me).” He clearly understands that his new dog’s hesitancy around men is nothing personal. Who knows what awful experiences she’s had, with men and with humans in general? Who knows what she went through before her rescuers found her? Her fear of humans, especially male humans, is clearly justified, and it will take some time for her to learn to trust again.
I think my friend is on the right track when it comes to teaching his new family member to trust him. He knows it’s important to keep it simple. Before the dog can learn, she must be comfortable enough in her new home to feel safe. That will be her major concern for some time to come, maybe forever. For dogs, it’s not really a question of what’s good or what’s bad for them; it’s a matter of what’s safe.
That’s hardwired into their little doggy brains by nature and by nurture, by what they inherit biologically and by what they experience in their time on earth. So far, this newly rescued dog has experienced pretty much the opposite of nurture. Instead of being cared for, she was abandoned. With abandonment comes so much that is unsafe—hunger, thirst, physical discomfort, abuse.
This little dog may never have been repeatedly abused by an owner, but on the streets, a pregnant stray, especially a small dog, could easily have been kicked, yelled at, shaken, or hit. We can hope this sort of abuse was minimal, but we can well imagine that it happened. The dog may have learned to feel unsafe under many common circumstances. A human hand held out to her may well have predicted pain, a human foot stepping close to her may well have predicted injury. At this point, in her new home, she may reveal many, many situational fears.
Slammed doors, loud music, even laughter may trigger this dog’s terrified response. The only way to find out what causes her fear is to live with her. It’s important for her new family to understand that nothing they’re doing now in living their normal everyday lives is a bad thing. Throw out the “guilt” we humans feel if we inadvertently make an animal jump away when we turn too quickly toward them. Don’t tiptoe around afraid to make a sound or move normally in your own home. Eventually, you will most likely do something that makes your new dog run from you. Don’t feel bad about it, please. It happens.
Live your normal lives and learn from how your new dog responds. You are the heroes in her story, not the villains. The longer she lives with you, the more she will come to understand. Is she more frightened of men than of women? Your job is to change her mind about men! Get small. Sit or even lie on the floor and let her approach you. Do not grab her when she comes close. Speak softly and quietly, praising her bravery—unless of course she’s bothered by your voice, too! Then don’t even speak . . . maybe hum or sing softly? Does she want to sniff you but not interact? Let her.
Does she like food? I’m guessing she might, since she’s certainly known hunger. You’re down there on the floor already. Pair food treats with you and see what happens! Put small treats or yummy bits of healthy-for-dogs human food like tiny turkey hot dog pieces near you while you’re lying or sitting on the floor. School yourself not to whoop or cheer when she eats one of those treats! Be happy inside, but hold the celebration for right now, okay? The idea is this: male human = treats.
Your goal is to keep moving up on that ladder of success from male human = treats to male human = safe. Until you are safe to be around, in her mind, you don’t have much of a chance of teaching her, for example, to come when called. Leave that until later, or for someone else in the family to teach, someone she’s not leery of approaching. Don’t take it personally. You’ve got further to go with her because of her hesitancy around men. Be patient. Go at her pace.
Let her sleep on a piece of your clothing. Undershirts are great, unwashed after a wearing. Add one to her regular bedding and replace it regularly with a freshly worn piece with lots of smell. I know, how weird—but think of it from her point of view. “I’m cozy here. It smells like him. Hmm . . . ” It can’t hurt!
Don’t reach out for her and don’t grab at her. Don’t make your hands the bad guys! Until she trusts you more, be as unassertive with her as possible. Other family members in whom she has more faith right now might be the ones to teach her to allow her collar to be held briefly when she’s comfortable and relaxed. Pair touching the collar, then holding the collar, with food treats—maybe licking peanut butter off the other hand of the collar-touching human. Later, when she understands that the male human is safe, you can practice these same exercises with her. Right now, it’s just too soon.
I would not recommend taking her on walks yet. She’s small enough to get some exercise in your fenced yard, maybe even playing with other family members if she seems happy to do that. She can chase a toy or ball, run around in circles, and simply enjoy the spring weather—all safe activities that should not trigger too much stress. Until you know her better, don’t expect her to respond predictably to anything she might encounter outside your home or yard. That, too, can wait until her confidence in you (and your confidence in her) grows a great deal. Patience is a virtue here!
I am so delighted for my friend and his family, and even more delighted for this little doggy refugee from another country who has found a home and loving humans here in the good old USA. I hope to follow her story—their story—as they grow closer and closer. The adventure has just begun!
