Parents, this information is for you!
How does your dog look when she is not stressed?
- Her doggy body language is relaxed.
- Her muscles are not tensed.
- Her movement is loose.
- Her body forms curves; she looks like a comma.
How does your dog look when she is stressed?
- Her doggy body language is stiff.
- Her muscles are tensed.
- Her movement may freeze.
- She may stop panting to hold her breath.
When your dog is stressed, you may see these signs:
- She yawns.
- She licks her lips.
- Her eyes roll so that you can see the whites.
- Her ears pin back against her head.
- Her tail is low or between her legs.
When you see signs of stress, what may happen next?
- Your dog will move away.
- She may attempt to hide.
Pursuing a dog that is attempting to avoid stress may result in:
- The dog rolling into a ball or lying helplessly
- The dog whining or crying
- The dog urinating or defecating on the spot
Grabbing a dog that is attempting to escape may cause the dog to growl.
- At first, the growling may be almost imperceptible, very low and quiet—more of a vibration than an actual sound. The dog’s lips may move away from her teeth. She may even appear to be grinning.
- That is a first warning.
- The growl says, “I’m trapped. I’m stressed. I’m scared.”
At that point, if the human does not back off, the dog may have no choice but to nip.
- Nipping is a second warning.
- The nip says, “I’m terrified. I have no choice!”
If the human does not back off then, the dog may bite.
- The bite says, “I had no choice.“
- Biting is the final warning.
For the dog, in that moment, biting usually accomplishes her goal. The human who is bitten is likely to back off. For the dog, living in the present, the biting behavior is rewarded by the removal of the immediate stress. Whoever has been pursuing the dog stops doing that.
Unfortunately for all, when that happens, the dog learns that biting works. She is therefore more likely to bite again.
Parents with small children—children too young to understand the warning signs—may well decide that a dog that has bitten once, especially a dog that has bitten a child, is too much of a liability to keep. Depending on the severity of the bite and who was bitten, animal control and insurance issues may make keeping the dog a financial hardship or a practical impossibility.
The dog that has bitten carries with her a very black mark on her permanent record. Her chances of finding another home are slim.
We see so many memes and videos online that show dogs and kids interacting inappropriately. I wonder every single time I see one if those kids’ parents have any idea of how dangerous it is to allow children to force themselves on unwilling and unhappy pets, just for the sake of a “cute” YouTube to forward to all their friends.
There is a parent, holding a camera, standing feet away from an unsafe situation that endangers both their child and their family pet, and yet there is no intervention. They are asking for trouble. Frankly, it’s only the good sense of the dog that’s keeping trouble from happening.
Children should never:
- Climb on, lie on, or “ride” on a dog.
- Pull a dog’s ears, tail, or fur.
- Handle a dog’s lips or tongue.
- Poke, prod, or hit a dog.
- Take an object away from a dog.
- Tease a dog with food or treats.
- Interfere with a dog that is eating.
I saw a video online recently of a large shepherd dog attempting to eat dinner while, opposite the dog, a seated toddler repeatedly pulled the bowl away. Every time the child pulled the bowl away from the dog, the dog—with one deftly placed paw—pulled the bowl back toward itself and took another bite.
The parents filming this video were obviously unaware that what they had set up to be “cute” was in fact setting a precedent for both dog and baby. For the baby, it was clear permission not only to be near the dog when it was eating, but also to take the dog’s food away while it was eating.
The dog appeared to be patient and passive, but of course it was in charge of the situation—the parents obviously weren’t—and it was getting the food it wanted, albeit with a little extra effort. In another week or another month, when that toddler decides to hold onto the bowl and refuse to give it back to the dog, will the parents continue filming, or will they finally intervene when the dog loses patience and is forced to deal directly with the child? I know for certain that it is the dog who will be punished when something goes wrong. (Personally, I think this situation is child endangerment.)
Parents must set firm guidelines about their children’s interactions with all animals—and most importantly with the animals that live in their household.
- All animals show signs of stress when they are in situations in which they’re not comfortable. Learn the signs of stress in each animal species that you take into your home.
- Respect that animal’s need for safety and security by teaching your children how to interact with it in a manner that both the kids and the pet will find rewarding.
- Teach your children how to “speak dog” (or cat, or gerbil) from their earliest interactions with their pet.
- Model appropriate behavior yourself.
- Explain what you are doing and why, in terms that best suit your child’s age and ability to understand.
- Encourage and guide your children’s efforts to be good stewards of their animal friends.
- Praise your children for appropriate behavior with their pets!
