I’ve been thinking recently about my own experiences with animals and with the humans who’ve taught me about animals. I can chortle now when I remember some of the ridiculous suggestions I’ve heard over the years from people who should have known better. I have not been alone!
I asked animal trainers and animal lovers for the worst advice they’ve ever gotten about a pet. Their stories did not disappoint. If you’ve had a pet, you’ve probably heard some ridiculous advice yourself!
Anna Abney (South Carolina) I was once told by a man in a general training email forum to pee on my dog to establish dominance. When I, tongue firmly in cheek, asked him how to do this conveniently since I lack [the equipment], he suggested I urinate into a spray bottle and carry that with me. I think I also asked him how often he bathed his dog.
Jenny Beard Biehunko DVM (Alabama) I was told the same thing about my horse.
Marni Fowler (Florida) My previous catahoula was very dog-reactive. I was told on a catahoula Yahoo group that I should hold him down and pee on him to show him who’s boss. Needless to say, I did not do that. On the same group, I was also told I’d better be ready with a baseball bat to protect myself from my dog when he decided to show me who’s boss. Jester lived a very enriched yet highly managed life and we got along quite well in spite of neither of us having to show the other who was “boss.” Everyone one in the house knew that the boss was Bejaaz, the tuxedo (feline) cat.
Alicia Graybill (Nebraska) Many, many years ago, I was told to take my dog down (i.e., do an alpha roll) and to hold him down until he submitted. Now the physical skill was not that hard to accomplish, as Timber was about 40 pounds and I was (considerably) larger. The difficult and silly part was the notion I could make a Siberian husky-Australian shepherd mix, who was ten times as clever as I was, submit. I’m ashamed to say I spent a lot of time on the floor with Timber with my “face right in his.” Timber was an alpha dog in the best sense of the word. He played my silly game and never seemed to resent it or get angry. In remembering those days, I think it’s a wonder my face didn’t end up chewed like hamburger.
Sodonnia Wolfrom (Arkansas) Oh, boy. Where do I start?
“Your dog shouldn’t wear a muzzle. It can’t protect you if you’re attacked.” My dog was actively snarling at this man. (Human-reactive pup; he goes on walks at night for safety’s sake. Strange man just comes up to us. I’m very small.) I told him that if he took one step closer, I would do a lot worse than my dog ever could. (My dog was an 80-pound rottie.) The man declined to step closer.
“That dog is going to run your life if you let it growl at you.” (We’re talking about a chihuahua here. I didn’t know the dog was behind me and leaned back. He grrred to let me know.) The man couldn’t explain how a chihuahua was going to run my life, though.
Sandra Sandy Machado (Florida) While I was working with a client and her dog during a walk, a man passing by volunteered these words of wisdom: “When my dog tries to bite me, I hold his mouth closed with two hands and bite him, putting his mouth inside mine.” I invited him to meet me the next day to show me how it’s done… but on my dog. He saw a picture of my dog and declined.
Photo by Sandra Machado
Steven Cogswell (Colorado) I had a trainer at a chain pet-supply store tell me that my dog, Jasper, was “giving me the finger” when he wouldn’t immediately go into a down . . . in a store filled with smelly pet stuff, crammed into a little area surrounded by seven strange dogs! “Does he always show you this little respect?” The trainer taught me to use a leash snap to get Jasper’s attention back on me. “It’s just like a little tap on the shoulder to get his attention.” They advertised the class as a positive training course. I regret not contacting their corporate offices; he was a regional trainer. He taught each class with, “This is what I’m supposed to say, but this is what will work.” They should have either changed their advertising or gotten rid of the leash snapper.
Carol Duncan (Texas) Do an alpha roll to show him you are in charge. Deliberately take your reactive German shepherd for a walk beside the fence where there is another reactive dog on the other side and then roll him into a down. (We rolled out into the street.) Smile at your dog and talk baby talk to him, but use a shock collar to make him come in for a recall faster.
Frances Dauster (Alabama) Bite his ear to show dominance. I still remember picking fur out from between my teeth. That he never retaliated is my blessing. He could have shredded me. I miss him so much, Phaedrus, my heartdog.
Marilyn J Wolf (Indiana) To do an alpha roll and pin for my 90-pound dog after he would react to another dog. He probably would have bitten me badly if I had tried.
Sandie Hanlon (Massachusetts) Stomp on my puppy’s feet to stop him from jumping up. Of course I didn’t, and I said to the person, “You’re horrible!”
Jamie Robinson (Arizona) I had similar advice on one of my service-dogs-in-training who was not getting the potty training. I was told to grab her scruff and growl in her face right after she peed on the floor. She was ten weeks old.
Don Hanson (Maine) Back in 1991, attending my first training class ever with a twelve-week-old puppy. He didn’t sit the first time I asked. I was told he was being dominant and was told to alpha roll him.
Nichola Walker (United Kingdom) From the vet no less, I took my tiny new puppy in to get vaccinated, general check-up, etc. He growled at the vet, who was handling him roughly. “When he growls at you, pick him up and shake him. It will throw him off balance and he’ll stop.” We never went back. He’s made it to 14 and he’s extremely human-soft without needing to be shaken, amazingly. I barely knew what I was doing but I knew that wasn’t the way to go treating anything.
Lisa Watson (Nevada) Flick a ferret’s nose to discipline? Oh, hell, no!
Lee Charles Kelley (New York) Rub his nose in it.
Timothy Page (Oregon) If the cat pees in the house, just grab him and hold him under the shower. He’ll get the point. No, you’ll get some deep scratches.
Jennie Willoughby (California) From a rescue coordinator: “If the dogs get in a fight, just stick your fingers in each of their [rear ends].” My response “At the same time?!?”
Mandy Collins (United Kingdom) Letting my dog know that I owned her food bowl would stop her resource guarding. So I found the receipt and showed it to her, but it made no difference.
Lorna Walsh (Washington) I ordered a high frequency anti-bark device and when it came with no instructions, I couldn’t even figure out how to make it work. Still looking for a way to keep Mocha from barking like a maniac at the postman.
Abigail Witthauer (Alabama) Advice given in a community dog lovers’ Facebook group: Photo posted of a dog who has lost much of his hair. No vet visit or diagnosis. Comment: “Just pour motor oil all over him and let it sit for an hour and it will cure all his mange.” This was yesterday.
Christine Hale Vertucci (Illinois) The day we returned from vacation, my almost 23-year-old cat followed the house-sitter unnoticed when he took out the garbage, and was lost. Everyone online said she had gone off to die and that we wouldn’t find her. I finally found her at a neighbor’s, and she is still doing fairly well more than a year later at almost 24 years old.
Donna Weidert (Washington) I was advised by some nitwit in an online bird group to put Rowan (my sun conure) in a rescue because I was abusing him by not having more than one parrot. Rowan HATES other birds, but that didn’t change her advice. I left the group and reported her to the admin. Talk about crappy advice.
Debi Davis (Nevada) “He’s incorrigible. Since he shuts down on purpose in a choke collar, you have one last option. Use a shock collar or euthanize that puppy.” (Puppy-class trainer in reference to my four-month-old papillon who eventually became a National Service Dog of the Year and also an Animal Assisted Therapy dog.)
Nichola Walker (United Kingdom) It’s not as if papillons [don’t] have serious trachea issues —yank on the choke chain? Plus they’re some of the most biddable dogs out there.
Debi Davis (Nevada) I was terrified of that! So I worked a week ahead with the choke, as demanded in the class, but with both ends clasped together, so it would not tighten. I quit the puppy class. It was when we moved to the West Coast a year later that I found a service dog training program that did not utilize punitive methods, and where my dog made a choice to find what would earn him a click and a piece of food. And he blossomed! He was just a determined little dog who did not want to be strong-armed or forced to do anything. Once I learned how to speak his language, he couldn’t learn fast enough. I sure miss that little dog.
How do you handle ridiculous advice about your pet? First, use your common sense! If it “feels” wrong, it might well be wrong. Second, confirm your suspicions—ask someone you trust if what you’ve been told makes sense and might work for your animal. Third, do your due-diligence—read up on the subject online, watch some videos, find out what animal experts who use modern, scientific methods recommend. Fourth, if anyone recommends urinating on your animal, “alpha-rolling” your dog, or treating what might be a health or behavior issue with “home remedies” instead of a veterinary intervention, walk away—figuratively or literally. Bad advice can be dangerous!
