Key Takeaways
A quarter of parents admit to using threats to get kids to behaveThese threats include saying Santa will skip their house or take away their toysHalf of parents also say they’ve resorted to bribes
MONDAY, Dec. 16, 2024 (HealthDay News) — Do parents use Santa Claus to help guide kids to better behavior?
It happens often, a new poll shows.
One-quarter of parents of kids ages 3 to 5 said they’ve threatened misbehaving kids with no Santa or gifts if they don’t shape up, according to results from the University of Michigan Health C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital National Poll on Children’s Health.
Many parents also reported threatening to leave a Christmas activity, taking away toys or denying dessert to get their kids to behave, the poll found.
What’s more, nearly half of parents polled have resorted to bribes to get better behavior from kids.
Unfortunately, these aren’t likely to be winning strategies, Mott pediatrician Dr. Susan Woolford said in a hospital news release.
“Discipline helps young children learn what behaviors are safe and appropriate and can play a crucial role in helping them learn the difference between right and wrong,” Woolford said.
“Empty threats, however, undermine trust and credibility and aren’t usually effective,” Woolford added. “Positive reinforcement and consistent discipline are more likely to shape long-term behavior.”
About half of parents rated themselves as very consistent in disciplining their child, based on poll responses from 725 parents with at least one child between the ages of 1 and 5.
But it’s not easy — nearly a quarter of parents said they become overly irritated by their kid’s antics, react before remembering to stick to their discipline strategy or are too tired to remain consistent.
“It can be difficult to have a consistent approach to discipline without consideration and planning — and even then, consistency can be difficult, especially when parents are tired, distracted or feeling overwhelmed,” Woolford noted.
“It’s important for parents to plan ahead and be on the same page with discipline strategies, to provide a foundation for understanding expectations and prevent sending mixed signals about boundaries,” Woolford added.
Many parents also expressed uncertainty whether their discipline strategies actually work.
Three out of five said their strategies are somewhat effective, with only two in five saying they’re very effective.
Most parents said they get input on their discipline strategies from several sources, including the other parent, family or friends, and parenting books, articles or social media.
Fewer than a fifth have discussed discipline with a pediatrician, and about one in eight say they haven’t thought about their discipline strategies, the poll found.
Some parents also admitted to using discipline strategies that aren’t recommended by experts.
For example, two in five said they sometimes spank their kids, the poll found.
Evidence has found that spanking can lead to defiance and increased aggression in children.
“Parents should avoid the temptation to rely on tactics that might yield short-term compliance but have negative effects later on,” Woolford said.
Distraction and redirection are often the most effective discipline strategies for kids ages 1 to 2, Woolford said. At that age, children are exploring their environment and willful misbehavior is rare.
But after age 2, children understand their actions can prompt a reaction in others, and might start to test that out more often.
Parents of children 3 to 5 were more likely to use warnings, speak firmly and give timeouts when their kids get out of line, the poll found.
Preschool kids respond best to discipline strategies that emphasize the logical consequences of misbehavior, Woolford said.
For example, an appropriate response to a child spilling a drink out of anger would be to have them clean up the mess, Woolford said. A punishment unrelated to the act would be less effective.
“Consequences should be immediate, so the child understands the connection with their misbehavior,” Woolford said.
However, parents need to remain flexible, Woolford added.
“As children grow, their responses to discipline will also change, so parents should adapt their strategies and stay open to new approaches,” Woolford said. “Balancing correction with positive reinforcement — like praise and rewards — helps children build self-esteem while learning from their mistakes.”
More information
The American Academy of Pediatrics has more on the best discipline strategies for parents.
SOURCE: University of Michigan, news release, Dec. 16, 2024
What This Means For You
Threats and bribery should be avoided when disciplining a child, as they might send the wrong message to a misbehaving kid.
