By Stephen Beech via SWNS
One in five parents worry their children don’t have enough friends, reveals new research.
But two out of three moms and dads want their child’s pals to come from like-minded families, according to the findings.
And more than a third of parents prefer their child’s friends to come from families with a certain political or religious affiliation.
Developing friendships is often seen as a natural part of childhood, but the American study suggests it may be easier for some youngsters than others.
The University of Michigan Health poll of 1,031 parents of children aged six- to 12-years-old found that one in five said their child has no friends or not enough friends.
However, nine out of 10 parents (90%) believe their child would like to make new friends.
Poll co-director Sarah Clark said: “Friendships can play a significant role in children’s overall health and development, emotional well-being, self-esteem and social skills.
“But some parents say their children face barriers in making friends, such as personality, social anxiety, medical conditions or just not having as many opportunities.”
More than half of the moms and dads polled reported at least one factor that makes it difficult for their child to make new friends.
One in five said that shyness or being socially awkward got in the way of their child’s efforts to make new friends.
Fifteen percent of parents say friendship challenges stemmed from kids being mean while less than 10% said a child’s disability or medical condition made friendships more challenging.
Parents of older children were more likely than parents of younger kids to say that difficulties making new friends are related to other youngsters already having friendship groups or having too few places to get together.
Three in four parents said they have taken steps to help their child make new friends.
The most common strategies include arranging play dates or outings, enrolling their child in activities to meet kids with similar interests or giving their child advice on how to make friends.
Around one in four parents try to befriend other moms and dads who have kids the same age.
Clark said: “Supporting children in making friends is a balance of guidance, encouragement, and giving them space to navigate social situations independently.
“Parents’ involvement may vary based on a child’s age, personality, and social needs.”
She said children who struggle to make new friends because of shyness, medical conditions or social anxiety, for example, may need to be gently eased into friend-making.
Clark suggests that parents can help by choosing a small-group activity the child enjoys, and allowing space for the child to become comfortable interacting with peers.
She said: “For some children, making new friends can be stressful.
“Remember that children are still developing and practicing their social skills while making and maintaining friendships.
“Parents should expect and allow children to make mistakes, intervening only in matters of safety. Later, in a private moment with the child, parents should be ready to listen and offer advice.”
The research showed that parents of older children are also more likely to allow them to use social media to connect with friends – including one in four parents of middle school-aged children – and buy items to help them “fit in.”
But Clark warned parents to be mindful of how their kids are using social media, which has been shown to increase the risk of developing mental health concerns – such as anxiety and depression – because of opportunities for negative peer influences.
She said: “Parents who choose to allow social media should help their child learn to use it responsibly.”
More than half of the moms and dads polled feel it’s very important that they know the parents of their child’s friends, while more than a quarter are “very concerned” about their child’s friends encouraging their child to do things parents don’t approve of.
The findings also showed that two in three parents said it was important that their child’s friends come from families that were like theirs. And, most commonly, that involved similar parenting styles.
More than a third of moms and dads also indicated a preference for their child’s friends to come from families with a certain political or religious affiliation.
Fewer said it was important that friends’ families had similar levels of education or income.
Clark cautioned that keeping children’s friendships exclusive to certain circles may prevent them from developing broader perspectives, open mindedness and better social skills.
She added: “School is often viewed as a place where children will encounter and form connections with peers with different backgrounds, ideas, customs, and ways of thinking.
“Limiting a child’s friends to only those from similar backgrounds may hamper their ability and comfort in navigating diverse networks in the future.”
