By Stephen Beech via SWNS
One in four parents rely on threats – such as no visit from Santa – to manage their young children’s behavior, according to new research.
And four in 10 have spanked their child under the age of five for being naughty, revealed the study.
A quarter of moms and dads have threatened their three- to five-year-olds with no Christmas presents or no dessert while more than half have resorted to bribes.
Many have also threatened to leave an activity or take away toys, according to a health survey of 725 American moms and dads.
The findings come from parents with at least one child aged one to five who took part in the University of Michigan Health C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital National Poll.
Poll co-director Dr. Susan Woolford said: “Discipline helps young children learn what behaviors are safe and appropriate and can play a crucial role in helping them learn the difference between right and wrong.
“Empty threats, however, undermine trust and credibility and aren’t usually effective.
“Positive reinforcement and consistent discipline are more likely to shape long-term behavior.”
While half of parents rate themselves as “very consistent” in disciplining their child, many also admit struggling with consistency.
Top challenges include a child being too young to understand (49%), strategies not always working (42%) and parents trying to prevent a public tantrum (31%).
One in four moms and dads (25%) say they get too irritated when their child misbehaves, while a similar number say they react before remembering their strategies (25%) or are too tired to be consistent (24%).
Dr. Woolford said: “It can be difficult to have a consistent approach to discipline without consideration and planning – and even then, consistency can be difficult, especially when parents are tired, distracted, or feeling overwhelmed.
“It’s important for parents to plan ahead and be on the same page with discipline strategies to provide a foundation for understanding expectations and prevent sending mixed signals about boundaries.”
Parents weren’t always sure whether their discipline strategies worked, with two out of five saying they were very effective and three in five believing they were somewhat effective.
Most moms and dads polled reported getting input about discipline strategies from several sources, with many turning to the child’s other parent, talking with family and friends or using parenting books, articles and social media.
Less than one in five parents have discussed discipline with a healthcare provider while one in eight say they haven’t thought about their discipline strategies.
Some of the moms and dads polled admitted using discipline strategies that aren’t recommended by experts.
Two in five have resorted to spanking – which evidence suggests may lead to defiance and be linked to increased aggression in preschool and school-aged children.
Dr. Woolford said: “Parents should avoid the temptation to rely on tactics that might yield short-term compliance, but have negative effects later on.
“Discipline strategies should be appropriate for the child’s age and developmental level.”
She says that with one- and two-year-olds, for example, distraction and redirection are often the most effective.
She noted that such young kids are exploring their environment and wilful misbehavior is rare.
Parents of children in that age group who took part in the survey were also more likely to redirect behavior as a strategy.
But after age two, Dr. Woolford says youngsters understand their actions can cause a reaction from others and may increasingly test that out.
Parents of children ages three to five polled were more likely to use warnings, speak firmly, and give “timeouts”.
Dr. Woolford says, that during those preschool years, strategies should emphasize the logical consequences to misbehavior.
For example, if a child spills a drink out of anger, an appropriate punishment would be to have them clean up the mess while an unrelated punishment would be less effective.
Dr. Woolford said: “Consequences should be immediate, so the child understands the connection with their misbehavior.”
She says that since children respond differently to various discipline methods, parents should try to be flexible.
Dr. Woolford added: “As children grow, their responses to discipline will also change, so parents should adapt their strategies and stay open to new approaches.
“Balancing correction with positive reinforcement – like praise and rewards – helps children build self-esteem while learning from their mistakes.”
