BOISE, Idaho — Gage Neuenschwander’s mom, Jennifer Wardwell, described them as quiet and kind. However, when Gage was 14, she noticed a shift, and shortly after, Gage came to her with something that had been on their mind.
“Gage just told me that they were trans. I said, awesome. I love you. I support you. What do we want to do? Well, let’s do it. We’re in this together,” said Wardwell.
Wardwell told NonStop Local that everything seemed to be going well, but in early April, something went terribly wrong.
“I said, Dad, I need you to go check on Gage. Something’s not right, and my dad found them, and they were gone.”
Wardwell said it was a moment she would never forget.
“It was the worst day of my life,” Wardwell said.
Wardwell said although Gage was in the process of transitioning, she said the reasons behind their death were complex.
“It’s not just some clear cut, ‘oh, another trans kid that committed suicide.’ It’s not that simple. There’s so many layers that go into being trans, and the depression and the anxiety is very real.”
Although Gage was a legal adult at the time of their death, their mom decided to start them on hormone replacement therapy, also known as HRT, when Gage was still a minor, “it was my choice as a parent to support that.”
She added this was not a decision they made lightly, “we also saw psychologists, psychiatrist, we went to a hormone specialist, we saw a bunch of different people that confirmed that you know, yes, this is your identity.”
Although Wardwell and her family live in Cheney, she said the Supreme Court’s decision in Idaho to prevent teens from gender-affirming care deeply troubled her.
“When young kids are being told that they can’t get gender-affirming care, that could be life or death. It is life or death.”
Wardwell added that although those supporting the Supreme Court ruling may argue that transitions can still be undergone by legal adults, she says aging is a privilege that many who are now blocked from receiving gender-affirming care may not get.
“There may not be an older, they may not make it to 18,” Wardwell said.
She has a clear message to Idaho lawmakers: “Kids will die. People are hurting over this. It’s a matter of life and death. It’s serious.”
Idaho State Representative Jordan Redman told NonStop Local that he agrees with the new state law barring gender-affirming care for minors.
“I think these are really significant decisions that have long-term repercussions, and so I was in support of it. And I believe they shouldn’t be made, and funds shouldn’t be used from the state to support that,” Redman said.
NonStop Local asked Redman if, as a father, he sympathizes with parents like Wardwell. He argues that everyone’s objective is the same.
“We want to make sure that kids have the best path forward. It’s just we have a different idea of what that help really is,” Redman said.
Although there were difficult moments when speaking to the Wardwell family when they talked about Gage, a visible light came through. We exchanged stories about their favorite moments.
We asked Wardwell’s youngest son Briggs why it was so important for him to talk about his older sibling his answer was simple. “So I can remember them and stuff like that.”
Wardwell said she desperately misses her oldest child, the big things, but also the small ones, one less laugh, the sound of their footsteps. “I was like, oh, I [have to] tell Gage, and then it comes crashing down, oh yeah, I can’t.”
Wardwell’s message to all parents emphasized tolerance and acceptance.
“Just accept and love. That’s all that matters.”
